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The Theory of Everything by Matt McHugh

A physicist has solved the problem of existence...
but he's overlooked a few variables.

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The Theory of Everything

     "Dr. Vaspruti. You're on."

     Aneel Vaspruti looked up from the stack of notes on his lap. He thanked the moderator, gathered his papers, and made his way to the front of the lecture hall. He walked past the laptop and LCD projector and plopped his transparencies onto the old overhead. With a quick movement, he turned away from the crowd and brushed his unruly beard with his fingers for any errant lunchtime crumbs.

     "Good afternoon, my colleagues," he began. "I know it's been a long day of presentations so I'll get right to the point. We've heard a lot about quantum mechanics, unified field theories, string theory, dimensional harmonics, the elusive theory of everything, and so on. All these are interesting in their own way, but it turns out, fundamentally incorrect. I have found something that corrects their errors in a simple and practical way."

     Dr. Vaspruti was not oblivious to the snorts of disapproval, but he continued untroubled.


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